How Meditating is Saving Me
Do you ever just feel like your mind is racing and the thoughts are going so fast you can't keep up? Like you have too many tabs open on a computer?
I used to constantly have a jumbled mind, like no matter what I did or how many lists I made, I just couldn't keep up. Desperately I searched for a way to have a little space between each thought.
Now, I do. And I have meditation to thank.
I'll be honest. When someone suggested I try meditation in 2015 I brushed it off as being weird. For hippies. For people who had too much time on their hands. I had too much going on to sit quietly and clear my mind! Also, who can clear their mind? Pffft. I doubted meditation and moved on.
Except I didn't. By the time 2015 hit, things were very scary in my house. My late husband Jeremy was deep in the throws of his anxiety and depression and my son Thomas was three, newly diagnosed with Autism. There was no time for me to take care of myself, let alone meditate! Back then I was getting up at 4am to host a morning radio show but I was desperate for some peace. So I started setting my alarm earlier, lighting a candle and quietly meditating. I was shocked at how quickly I felt the positive change. I was calmer, focused, and could take a deep breath. But the schedule didn't last and soon I was back in throws of a racing mind.
Soon after Jeremy took his life this past June, I knew I needed to get back to meditating. I settled on the Headspace app because I'd heard great reviews. It starts with the Basics and gently explains how to meditate and find some space between thoughts. Head Space. I've now been consistently meditating for four months and every day I notice how much it's helping me. Saving me actually. I take ten minutes to meditate with the app as soon as I wake up, without even sitting up in bed. It forces me to take some deep breaths and focus on myself.
To be honest, for the first month, I couldn't even take a deep breath. My chest was so tight with grief that I could barely inhale.
How is meditating saving me? It's made me so much more present, relaxed, calm and centred. Even if I find myself getting overwhelmed, I am much quicker to catch myself, breath, come to the present moment and deal with what's in front of me. Considering the hand I've been dealt, I don't know where I'd be without my ten minutes of quiet meditation every day.
I also find answers to questions come to me when I am meditating. My life currently feels like a puzzle I am slowly solving by putting pieces into place and when I quiet my mind every m morning, that's when I realize how the piece fits.
From someone who was once a skeptic and now finds herself excited to take ten minutes to breathe, I can't recommend meditating enough. I hope you find some head space today.