You Do You
"I'm not surprised your husband killed himself. You'll continue to perish until you become a Christian."
This is the summary of a long comment I woke up to this morning on a recent YouTube video. I think it's fitting to note that today is Pink Shirt Day in Canada - a day to stand up against bullying.
This feels like the perfect example to show what "You Do You" really means to me and how it guides my life. Most people's reaction would be to lash back with insults and defensive paragraphs, perhaps even denouncing another person's faith. But instead, I took a beat and simply deleted it, silently wishing this person well. It's been my experience that when others are hurtful, they are hurting on the inside.
I truly believe that what you put into the world is what you get in return. No good would have come from me trying to fight with this person. I'm happy to have an adult, level-headed discussion with someone in a respectful way but I'd already been disrespected out of the gate.
Instead I am choosing to explain to you what You Do You means to me and how it's become a catchphrase in the Mareathoner community.
You Do You to me means taking care of yourself and discovering what truly brings you happiness, no matter what others say. My only caveat is that you aren't hurting others. I have nothing but respect for anyone who has found something to believe in, no matter what it is - religion, spirituality etc, as long as we can all agree to not hurt one another, You Do You. We need people to have different opinions and hobbies and passions; it's what makes our world an intricate tapestry.
But I draw the line when it's hateful or hurtful.
It's that simple.
I struggled for years not living this mantra. I bent, twisted, reversed and shifted myself to please others and make things "easy'. Although it was never easy. In fact it was the opposite and slowly chipped away at my heart and soul.
I passionately encourage a You Do You mantra for everyone. Want to try a new hobby? Find a new job? Dance like no one is watching? Take a bath at noon? Introduce yourself to new people? Dye your hair? DO IT. Whatever ignites a fire inside of you and sets you on a path to your best self.
You Do You.
Sometimes it means setting boundaries with hurtful people. It's difficult but necessary. They are living a You Do You lifestyle themselves and as Amy Poehler says, "good for you, not for me". Simply set a boundary, wish them well and continue on your own path.
I could go on and on about this topic and I plan to. Stay tuned. But for now I leave you with this beautiful gallery of Mareathoners proudly wearing their You Do You sweatshirts, without apology.
And you should never have to apologize for taking care of yourself.